Feeling good
So, I’m dating a new person now. A year ago, I wouldn’t even have thought of it. During my transition to polyamory the question of whether or not I would be able to handle dating outside my original/main/primary/whateveryoucallit relationship was worrysome.
I tried dating a couple times before now and didn’t click with anyone. The first time was with a girl and I wasn’t sure if we simply weren’t well matched or if I was impossibly monogamous, but it didn’t go far. I persisted, however. Before coming out of the closet officially, I tried dating a guy. Being too eager to prove my bisexuality, I rushed things and tried to force feelings that weren’t present. We’ve since reverted to “friends” and chat awkwardly and infrequently.
Most recently through the usual dating site I came across a cute, witty, academic type girl who checked out on all counts. I immediately started up conversation and it wasn’t long before we met for tea and started dating. I made no secret of my polyamorous situation (it’s spelled out on my profile on aforementioned dating site along with a link to my live-in girlfriend) and spoke honestly about everything. She hadn’t been in a polyamorous relationship before, but was aware of the concept and open to the attempt. Stunningly, she hasn’t been scared off yet.
Granted things with her haven’t been going on long, but for the first time since starting down this polyamorous path I’m breathing easy about my chances at polyamorous happiness. My feelings for my wifey-type girlfriend have not subsided in the slightest, though I suspect my neediness has relaxed significantly. Experiencing little successes in starting a new relationship (avoiding presumptuousness about the future of said relationship here) has caused it to click in my mind (where it was just a theory before) that love and relationships are not a scarce resource.
